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leeches leech mehdi leeches therapy Theories on Anger Management by mehdi jaffari

Theories on Anger Management

Anger is considered as one of the seven deadly sins in the Catholic faith. But is anger really a sin? If we think about it, anger is a natural feeling. It is not such a bad thing. It is our body’s way of reacting to threat and impending danger. It is even necessary in our body’s defense against such threat and danger.

Everyone experiences anger, no one can deny it. However, we usually think of anger as something destructive. While it is true that we must mind what we do and say when we are angry, we must not think of anger as something evil or unnatural. Anger is a healthy way of releasing negative thoughts and feelings. If it is managed properly, then everything will go well. But if it is suppressed and handled negatively; it may lead to aggression or addiction to rage.

If you feel that you cannot control your anger and it has caused you and your family a lot of damage, then you must seek professional help. Uncontrolled anger requires management.

How Does Anger Works Inside the Body?

Do you feel hot and does your heartbeat race when you’re angry? Well, these are some of the physiological changes that you will experience when you’re in the heat of your anger. The purpose of understanding where anger is coming from is one of the concepts that experts use in their anger management programs. Let us understand what causes anger and how it affects our body.

When a person feels threatened or gets frustrated, a part of the brain – called the amygdala – signals the other parts of the body to prepare for defense. The amygdala signals the adrenal gland to release hormones that would increase the heart rate, elevate blood pressure, allow the lungs to expand for increased oxygen supply to the muscles and keep the brain focused on the target (the cause of anger). Moreover, the body continues to produce catecholamine (norepinephrine and epinephrine) that help maintain the body’s energy levels. Once these are done, you are ready to defend yourself!

Many people would say that when you’re in the heat of anger, you cannot really control it. This is not true, however. There is one part of the brain which is in charge of the person’s judgment. This is the prefrontal cortex of the brain, particularly the left prefrontal cortex.

The left prefrontal cortex has the capacity to switch off a person’s emotions. He is the ‘director’ that keeps things in balance. To make the prefrontal cortex work, a person needs to learn techniques that will let the prefrontal cortex develop superiority over the amygdala. As a case in point, a person can learn relaxation techniques and cognitive control techniques that will decrease the activity of the amygdala and thus allow the left prefrontal cortex to reign over his emotions.

After the physiologic preparation of the body for defense, the body undergoes a cooling-down phase. This happens when the target or the source of anger is no longer accessible. At this phase, the anger threshold becomes so low that it is easier for a person to get angry again – and the sad part of it is that the intensity of anger can easily rise. This is the reason why a person who has just been recently angry gets easily mad with the least amount of provocation. Furthermore, the arousal caused by the adrenal hormones can meddle with the ability of the person to think through the reasons for the outburst. This is also the reason why it is difficult to communicate with an angry person.

Psychosocial Theory Related to Anger

Sad experiences like the loss of a loved one, frustrations, failures, and the loss of the love and support of others, create a mark on a person’s life particularly on the way a person perceives life. If a person grew up in a family where love and support were not freely given, he will feel that his life is not worth living. The notion of neglect will make the person angry at his family and the life he has. If his issues are not resolved during his childhood years, the child’s anger usually will stay hidden until his adult years. Suppressed anger will then lead to deeper problems like aggression and violence.

Concepts Used in Anger Management

Many experts have developed research on how to explain the cause of anger and the basis of managing it. The following are some of the concepts used by professionals to create a more effective anger management program.

Freud, the person who developed the psychosexual theory, related anger to the “hydraulic theory.” In hydraulic theory, the pressure is released and distributed in all parts of the body/system. We can fully understand hydraulic theory by using a pressure cooker as an example. When the pressure cooker is placed on a stove, the heat from the flame causes pressure to build in the cooker. Think of the steam coming out of the pressure cooker as anger. In that case, the only way to release the steam (or anger) is by taking the lid off the cooker. We therefore have to let the pressure cooker cool down before we open the lid so that we can prevent accidents. Applying this metaphor to anger management, we have to learn cooling-down techniques if we want to prevent our anger from causing undesirable results.

However, anger management professionals do not recommend suppression. The main cause of anger addiction or aggression is suppression. It is believed that a person suppresses his negative thoughts and emotions so he can move on and forget about getting hurt. By suppressing these negative emotions, a person will develop uncontrolled rage and may even cause physical harm.

In anger management programs, it is advised that we express our anger and let it all out. Using the above metaphor, the proper way of cooling down also necessitates taking the lid off and letting all the anger out.

Experts use expressive therapy to help patients express their anger. This therapy is commonly used in group sessions and psychodramas. How does this work? In expressive therapy, the person will express his anger through beating objects like pillows, shouting, yelling, or using models which will represent the past events in one’s life. The purpose of expressive therapy is to let a person feel that it’s alright to get angry. Expressive therapy will let you feel the pain all over again but, in the end, you will feel that it’s ok to cry and it’s ok to feel hurt as long as you learn how to overcome it and come back to reality as a stronger person.

Learn what anger management is all about and how it can help you. Anger management is the only way to escape from the imprisonment of a life filled with rage.

Posted in Family and Child Counseling, new zealand leechtherapy
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leeches leech mehdi leeches therapy Anger Management by mehdi jaffari

iAnger Management

Anger is an emotional state that can vary in intensity from mild irritation to intense rage! Like all our other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes, for instance, when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy, hormones and adrenaline.

Anger can be caused by both external and internal events going on in your life. However, how we express our anger is very important. An instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively and in some instances can be necessary to our survival. However, we can’t physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us! So there has to be a balance in controlling our emotions, which I can teach you.

We can all use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with angry feelings. The main approaches are usually expressing, suppressing, and calming.

Expressing angry feelings in an assertive [not aggressive] manner is the healthiest way to express anger. I can show you how to learn to be clear in what your needs are, and how to get them met without hurting others. Being assertive doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and to others, which is very important.

Suppressing anger can create other problems. The consequences of holding in anger can lead to passive-aggressive behavior, in other words, getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them! People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything and making cynical comments haven’t learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren’t likely to have many successful relationships and their anger can turn inward—on themselves.

This can cause a variety of situations including depression, anxiety & high blood pressure. I can change this area of learned behavior & change your life.

Calming your anger is where you’re not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside. This only works if you are able to separately deal with the reasons behind the anger.

Control Anger — Before It Controls You

The goal of my Anger Management course is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. It’s very difficult to avoid the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions. I can easily help you change the way you think. When you first feel angry and out of control, walk away from the situation, take deep breaths and take time to think about the situation.

Never Make a Decision When You’re Angry.

If you feel you are having problems with anger that would be undoubtedly impacting your relationship and other areas, I have a range of techniques for changing your thinking habits and behavior.

Anger is an emotional state that can vary in intensity from mild irritation to intense rage! Like all our other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes, for instance, when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy, hormones and adrenaline.

Anger can be caused by both external and internal events going on in your life. However, how we express our anger is very important. An instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively and in some instances can be necessary to our survival. However, we can’t physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us! So there has to be a balance in controlling our emotions, which I can teach you.

We can all use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with angry feelings. The main approaches are usually expressing, suppressing, and calming.

Expressing angry feelings in an assertive [not aggressive] manner is the healthiest way to express anger. I can show you how to learn to be clear in what your needs are, and how to get them met without hurting others. Being assertive doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and to others, which is very important.

Suppressing anger can create other problems. The consequences of holding in anger can lead to passive-aggressive behavior, in other words, getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them! People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything and making cynical comments haven’t learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren’t likely to have many successful relationships and their anger can turn inward—on themselves.

This can cause a variety of situations including depression, anxiety & high blood pressure. I can change this area of learned behavior & change your life.

Calming your anger is where you’re not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside. This only works if you are able to separately deal with the reasons behind the anger.

Control Anger — Before It Controls You

The goal of my Anger Management course is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. It’s very difficult to avoid the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions. I can easily help you change the way you think. When you first feel angry and out of control, walk away from the situation, take deep breaths and take time to think about the situation.

Never Make a Decision When You’re Angry.

If you feel you are having problems with anger that would be undoubtedly impacting your relationship and other areas, I have a range of techniques for changing your thinking habits and behavior. Posted in Family and Child Counseling, new zealand leechtherapy
Tags: ,

leeches leech mehdi leeches therapy mehdi jaffari Family & Child Counseling

Family & Child Counseling

In a marriage/relationship, it’s important never to forget that as a couple you both come first and the children are second. After all, in most cases children are created out of love and plans of enjoying a growing & happy family. As parents we have to take responsibility in nurturing our relationship, keeping it healthy and happy in order to raise our children in that loving environment.

Over time, many couples can build up unresolved issues and live with resentment and anger towards each other. As their relationship breaks down, they don’t always stop to realise the impact this has on the children. I believe it’s essential when there’s an unsolved and growing problem within a relationship, my clients come to me, not only for themselves but I also arrange counseling with the children because they will have suffered too.

Always remember children are the innocent party – they didn’t ask to be created and it’s not their fault if your relationship has broken down!

Don’t lose hope if you feel your relationship is at an end. With my techniques, I can teach you how to rebuild your relationship, how to raise your children and enjoy a good family life.

Adolescence; Children out of control – who is at fault?

There can be many reasons why teenagers have difficulties that often result in different types of behavioral problems. Adults commonly tell young people that teenage years are the “best years of your life.” However, life for many young people can be a painful tug of war filled with mixed messages and conflicting demands from parents, teachers, coaches, employers, friends and themselves. Growing up and trying to negotiate a path between independence and reliance on others can be tough. It can create stress and serious depression for some young people who are ill equipped to cope, communicate and solve problems.

Our individual childhood plays a large role as to how we raise our own children and with recent generations, our children’s expectations are certainly different to ours! With busy and career focused lifestyles for parents, life nowadays can sometimes take different paths, causing added stress to the relationship. It’s important for parents to remember the following points:

  • Don’t argue in front of the children
  • Showing respect to each other will teach your children how to respect themselves as well as their future partner
  • Any decision about a child should be a joint decision between both parents
  • If there is violence, swearing or disrespect in the family home, children will automatically follow this unacceptable behavior in their future
  • Don’t allow children to interfere or take sides in a parental dispute – any arguments or personal discussions should be private
  • Don’t over indulge children
  • Never give promises you can’t keep!

Common problems in adolescence:

Bullying – (home and/or school) – Peer pressure – Sibling rivalry – Difficulty in puberty – Drugs – Alcohol – Low achievement in school- Low self-esteem – Difficulty in making friends – Lying, cheating, stealing – Depression Suicidal thoughts…

If you have any difficulties or concerns about your children, no matter what age, I encourage you to seek my help before it gets out of hand. Untreated problems can simply develop into larger and more complicated issues, not only in your relationship and ability to communicate with your children, but your children’s future as an adult.

I have counseled children as young as 5 years old and always involve the parents in separate counseling as it’s important they understand their child’s problem[s] by learning good communication skills

Posted in Family and Child Counseling
Tags: ,

Adolescence; Children out of control – who is at fault?

Family & Child Counseling

In a marriage/relationship, it’s important never to forget that as a couple you both come first and the children are second. After all, in most cases children are created out of love and plans of enjoying a growing & happy family. As parents we have to take responsibility in nurturing our relationship, keeping it healthy and happy in order to raise our children in that loving environment.

Over time, many couples can build up unresolved issues and live with resentment and anger towards each other. As their relationship breaks down, they don’t always stop to realise the impact this has on the children. I believe it’s essential when there’s an unsolved and growing problem within a relationship, my clients come to me, not only for themselves but I also arrange counseling with the children because they will have suffered too.

Always remember children are the innocent party – they didn’t ask to be created and it’s not their fault if your relationship has broken down!

Don’t lose hope if you feel your relationship is at an end. With my techniques, I can teach you how to rebuild your relationship, how to raise your children and enjoy a good family life.

There can be many reasons why teenagers have difficulties that often result in different types of behavioral problems. Adults commonly tell young people that teenage years are the “best years of your life.” However, life for many young people can be a painful tug of war filled with mixed messages and conflicting demands from parents, teachers, coaches, employers, friends and themselves. Growing up and trying to negotiate a path between independence and reliance on others can be tough. It can create stress and serious depression for some young people who are ill equipped to cope, communicate and solve problems.

Our individual childhood plays a large role as to how we raise our own children and with recent generations, our children’s expectations are certainly different to ours! With busy and career focused lifestyles for parents, life nowadays can sometimes take different paths, causing added stress to the relationship. It’s important for parents to remember the following points:

  • Don’t argue in front of the children
  • Showing respect to each other will teach your children how to respect themselves as well as their future partner
  • Any decision about a child should be a joint decision between both parents
  • If there is violence, swearing or disrespect in the family home, children will automatically follow this unacceptable behavior in their future
  • Don’t allow children to interfere or take sides in a parental dispute – any arguments or personal discussions should be private
  • Don’t over indulge children
  • Never give promises you can’t keep!

Common problems in adolescence:

Bullying – (home and/or school) – Peer pressure – Sibling rivalry – Difficulty in puberty – Drugs – Alcohol – Low achievement in school- Low self-esteem – Difficulty in making friends – Lying, cheating, stealing – Depression Suicidal thoughts…

If you have any difficulties or concerns about your children, no matter what age, I encourage you to seek my help before it gets out of hand. Untreated problems can simply develop into larger and more complicated issues, not only in your relationship and ability to communicate with your children, but your children’s future as an adult.

I have counseled children as young as 5 years old and always involve the parents in separate counseling as it’s important they understand their child’s problem[s] by learning good communication skills.

Posted in Family and Child Counseling
Tags:
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